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Alys Einion

Today I will find out if my daughter is alive or dead…

Amanda has fought hard to bring up her children after fleeing an abusive Saudi husband. Her four boys have found a way to survive and thrive in a country not always accepting of them, but Aisha – Ash – their sister has always been a too round peg in a tight square hole… Ash starves and purges herself in an attempt to become invisible and disappear from the bullies and the taunts but is never successful. She struggles to find meaning in a life which seems to revolve around her mother’s alternative choices – veganism, feminism, lesbianism, art – and disregard for the norm of respectable job and tidy home. Not until Ash meets fellow seekers Sakinah and Aidah does an alternative to disappearing seem possible. But Ash’s alternative proves to be worse than Amanda’s worst nightmares of fire, desert and loss. Ash has determined to return to the world her mother fled in fear for her life and the lives of her children.

Publication Date


20 September 2018


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